A Summer Review and More Updates

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On August 6th, two days before I got my new Elmo’s World DVD, I had a meltdown over the Muppets. I say this because I didn’t get to watch Muppets from Space on August 6th. I cried, screamed and swore until I was blue in the face. I wanted to watch it on KissCartoon but unfortunately, I didn’t get to on August 6th, because there was a problem with the media player on there. I stayed home that day to recover from the meltdown. I watched Sesame Street and a couple of Disney movies that day.

Last month, I went to Ocean City, Maryland with my mom and my younger brother’s girlfriend’s friend. It was on the first day of choir practice, and I really loved it there. I went to the boardwalk and had this yummy crab sandwich at Bull on the Beach. I also went to a Japanese seafood restaurant, and I ate some French fries, chicken, shrimp, a yummy sugar biscuit, and some clams. I went to the beach and took lots of pictures. I was so happy that they had free Wifi in some of the places in Maryland. I thought that was awesome because I got to watch Sesame Street in the condominium that we stayed at.

Walking all the time around the boardwalk was really tough for me and my legs were hurting, but I made it through okay. I didn’t like the summer heat there, but it was good to get back home like I did.

Now that it is October, I have a new choir teacher named Mimi. Mimi is so much fun and so cool. She gives away prizes, plays games with us and does lots of scales and arpeggios with us. I’m so excited to see what she has in store for us choir members. Yesterday she played a game of “Getting to Know You Bingo” with us. It was a fun game. I also can’t wait until she plays more games with us in the coming months.

Mom made some yummy chicken-cheese quesadillas last summer, too. They were so good. They had lots of cheese in the middle and man, it made my mouth water!!! The chicken-cheese quesadillas are sensory heaven for me, because man, they have so much cheese in them. I would love to eat them again one day if I could.

I am now going on walks with my mom, because she figured I needed the exercise. I don’t like it but we’re still gonna go anyways. I wish Mom and I could go to the public library together, but I don’t have a library card and I still have to pay the public library back for the book I borrowed from there.

I have been watching the fall-themed episode of Bear in the Big Blue House lately. Tutter is one of my favorite characters because he’s played by my favorite Muppet performer named Peter Linz. I can’t wait until I watch it again on Sunday after I watch an episode of Muppets Tonight.

I know I haven’t blogged in a long time, because I didn’t know what to blog about. I’m sorry it took a while but I didn’t fit in the time to blog until today. I can’t wait until I participate in the Autistics Speaking Day event coming in November. As an autistic adult, I enjoy participating in autism acceptance events.

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Hurting Heart Tonight

HNI_0100_MPOAnother Fourth of July has come and gone. I enjoyed watching the performances on Wawa Welcome America and watched the beautiful fireworks on TV. I also enjoyed my Fourth of July supper which was pork with gravy, a baked potato and mixed vegetables. I also watched Wawa Welcome America before and after breakfast this morning, and this afternoon I got to listen to Wee Sing America twice.

Tonight. as soon as I was out to take pictures of the Fourth of July sunset, my younger brother snapped at me to get out of his way. I wasn’t in his way, I was just putting my glass of ice water back where I had it. And after I took some sunset pics, I went in the house and told him to listen to me when I talk. Unfortunately he refused to listen and was singing to himself instead. He told me that he didn’t want to talk to me or nothing. He even told me to shut up. I was crying so hard. I couldn’t even take it anymore, so I had a meltdown and ended up forgetting my New Nintendo 3DS as I went upstairs the second time. But the first time I didn’t. I put it in my mouth as I took it upstairs.

In my room, I was crying uncontrollably and biting myself. My mom gave me an ice pack, but it melted in a couple of minutes so I put ice cubes in a big plastic baggie and put it on my bitten hand. I really wish that he and I could get along better, but unfortunately, I don’t know how that’s gonna happen. It just hurts my heart so much when some family members don’t treat autistic/disabled people the way they should. When you’re autistic and you have siblings or family members that don’t care about you, it really just puts a hurt in your heart. Life is hard for autistic/disabled people like me. I just hurt so much tonight, and this just isn’t fair.

Also, when you’re autistic, it’s hard when your family members don’t love you unconditionally and treat you like a piece of dirt. And my younger brother laughed at me when I had a meltdown on Saturday morning. Instead of helping me through the meltdown, laughing at me about it was the only reaction. I just hurt so much right now. I had a wonderful Fourth of July until he completely destroyed it for me. It hurts my heart to have a younger brother show no compassion for me, his autistic sister. It’s neither fair nor right.

My younger brother doesn’t even take the time to listen to me when I try to tell him something, all he does is ignore me and sing to himself every time I talk to him. That hurts my heart because he always treats me like a pile of dirt. If he thinks he can treat me like dirt, then I’ll be dirt. And he made an excuse for his rudeness. That really had me hopping mad. I couldn’t take it anymore.

I hate that he wants nothing to do with me. He is supposed to be my brother. He is supposed to be loving me unconditionally the way families do. I’m getting so sick and tired of this. That’s why tonight my heart is hurting. I can’t deal with his hate towards me any longer. We had fantastic conversations as kids, but now, he wants nothing to do with me. Nothing. I’m done here. He has hurt me enough.

I’m getting tired of being treated like filth all the time. I’m getting tired of being treated like I’m a pile of dirt, like I don’t matter. But I matter, I have a voice and I have a story to tell. It hurts my heart that my younger brother doesn’t seem to care at all. He doesn’t even care about me, and I wish that he would.

Parents and siblings, please remember, always love your disabled brothers/sisters/sons/daughters. Love them unconditionally. Never turn your backs on them, ever. Because they need it. We autistic/disabled people need it. Show them compassion, too. Because we mater. Autistic people matter, disabled people matter. We have a voice, and a story to tell. Because if you treat them like dirt, you have hurt the person who you are supposed to love. So always, always, always love them unconditionally, and find it in your heart to love them.

We Weren’t That Resilient

THIS!!!

Maureen O'Leary

In response to the bell ringing that kids these days aren’t resilient the way their parents were growing up in the Wild West of the seventies and eighties suburban American neighborhoods and schools: I call bullshit.

We weren’t that resilient.

Those of us growing up in the seventies and eighties were not tilling Victory gardens and whittling useful things out of sticks that we found on the ground. I know. I was there.

I can only speak to my own experience, and trigger warning, I’m not prone to nostalgia.

Yes, we played outside with the neighborhood kids until the streetlights came on.

It’s true we didn’t have iPhones. We weren’t texting or addicted to screens.

We didn’t expect our teachers to give us A’s.

We drank from the garden hose when we were thirsty.

And it got pretty Lord of the Flies out there in the neighborhood and schoolyards before the streetlights came…

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#SayTheWord, Not “Special Needs”

Erin Human

The deeper I go into autistic culture and autistic rights activism, the more I find myself pulled to align my goals, my activism, and my identity with the broader disability rights community.

There’s a social media campaign going on right now to #SayTheWord – it was started by Lawrence Carter-Long, the Public Affairs Manager for the National Council on Disability, and is an active Twitter hashtag. The word, of course, is disabled.

The importance of this campaign is driven home to me over and over again as I see people performing ludicrous and painful contortions to avoid saying it. Reminder that when I make a criticism the way well-meaning people interact with disability, I am not attacking the people (parenthetical reminder that I was immersed in ableism myself not long ago), but inviting people to think about things in a different way.

Instead of saying disabled, nice people say things…

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A Crisp and Cool Tuesday

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As another year of choir practice has passed and summer begins, I’m looking forward to a lot of things. The book sale is coming up in July, my birthday is in August, and Autistic Pride Day is in June. I can’t wait for all three of these things. I especially am excited for the book sale in July, where I will be getting my Sesame Street DVDs and the rest of the season of Fraggle Rock. I am currently counting down the days until then. I will also be visiting Mr. Kiffer’s house this summer too, and go swimming at his neighbor’s house.

It is a cool and dreary day here where I live. Because of the changes of the weather I have my fuzzy pajama pants on. I’m glad it’s cool out, though, because I was never a big fan of super-hot weather in the first place. But I long to see the sunset again, because I miss going outside to see the sunset. I’m happy that I will be able to watch Splash and Bubbles at 10:30am starting next week, because I’m gonna be back at my wake-up schedule and breakfast will start at 10:06am once again. I miss my 10am breakfasts.

Yesterday at 1pm before lunch, I got to watch the Sesame Street movie called The Cookie Thief. I was really glad that I got to watch it, because I have never seen it before. Yesterday was my first time watching it. I can’t wait until I watch it again tomorrow afternoon. I hope the book sale still has it on DVD because I would love to have it in my own home. I also hope that the book sale has so much more Sesame Street DVDs.

Last week I watched Julie’s Greenroom, and I thought it was truly adorable. My favorite Greenies are Hank, Peri and Fizz. I was really excited about watching the show and I really loved it when I watched four episodes last Monday. I will be watching some more this week. I’m so glad that I finally found a website to watch it on other than Netflix because 1) I don’t have Netflix and 2) I’m not sure if I’ll ever get Netflix at all. Other than that, it’s a cute, cute show.

I will be doing some summer drawing too. Maybe I’ll be doing some pottery, painting and more crafts. When it gets warmer out, I’m gonna be watching Sesame Street outside if it’s sunny outside. I really enjoy watching it. On Easter I got to watch The Tale of the Bunny Picnic outside. I loved it and I can’t wait until I watch it again next Easter season. And on June 8th, I’m looking forward to singing with the choir at the baseball game. I’m also excited about that this summer. I hope that it doesn’t rain that day because I really would like to go so badly.

On Sunday night fireworks displays were going off for Memorial Day. I hated when they went off, and I’m so glad that they were finally over when they ended, because I never really liked loud noises in the first place. I’m also glad that there were no fireworks last night, because the noise was too much for me and I’m glad that there were no fireworks displays like they were on Sunday. I’m looking forward to watching the 4th of July fireworks on my local NBC station.
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Close of Another Choir Year

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It’s been five years since I joined Grace Bible Fellowship Church’s choir. I’m glad that I joined the choir and am also glad that I am in the choir. It’s also been a while since my last blog post. I got my Elmo and Cookie Monster Supersized Fun DVD last week, and watched it over and over again on Sunday.

Summer vacation has finally begun for me and the GBFC choir members. I have finished up my fifth year at choir practice, and can’t wait to sing the anthem on Sunday. Harriet says that she’s not gonna be teaching choir next year, and M will be teaching choir when we are back from vacation. I will miss Harriet because she really was a good choir teacher. She was one of the best choir teachers I ever had. In my sixth year, when M takes over, I’m sure that she’ll be great and will do well.

Anyway, it has been raining for several days and I’m staying indoors these days because when the gray skies are here, I don’t go outside to take pictures of the sunset because it’s hard to see a sunset when the skies are gray. I’m thankful that at least I got to take some pictures of recent sunsets. When there are a couple of clouds and blue sky together, I like to take pictures of the cloudscapes. They look so pretty in the sky. I also like to take pictures of flowers and blossoms on the trees in springtime.

I also have the 2011 Muppet movie finally and it’s truly adorable. I love watching my favorite Muppet Walter, and he is just adorable to watch. The cast and crew of this movie did a fantastic job. My brother and his new girlfriend bought it for me at the store. I was so excited when they handed it to me. It was only for five dollars, and I watched it the night I got it.

I’m so glad that I finally get to post some video blogs on YouTube. It makes me so happy, because I’m thankful for my New Nintendo 3DS. If I didn’t have my New Nintendo 3DS, I wouldn’t have posted video blogs on my YouTube and I wouldn’t have shared my autism story through video blogs.That’s why on Christmas Day 2016 I was so excited about getting the New Nintendo 3DS for Christmas, because now I’m able to post video blogs on YouTube, share pictures of sunrises, sunsets, cloudscapes and nature on the Internet.

I’m thankful that as an autistic adult, I make my story go viral. Because there needs to be more understanding of autistic children and adults. Because we have a voice, and a story to tell. I can’t stress this enough. Don’t dismiss our feelings and try to silence our voices. Don’t judge, mock and ridicule us. Because there’s nothing about us without us.

I’m Baaaaaaaaack!!!!

It’s been four months since my last blog post. I finally got my New Nintendo 3DS for Christmas. I was so happy and excited that I got it, because I bit my last one and it was completely broken, so I got a new one. I’m glad I now have it because I get to take some sunrise, sunset and cloudscape pictures. I had a four-week internet outage, and I was supposed to write a blog on the second week of February, however, the plans fell through due to the four week internet outage I had. As an autistic adult, it’s hard for me to keep myself calm if an internet outage lasts for four weeks or more than that.

I haven’t been feeling well lately. I’m dehydrated, so I’m supposed to be drinking lots of water. I now take some fish oil and spash only a little bit of juice in my water. I’m no longer allowed to drink any juice.

Anyway, so much has happened since the last blog post I’ve written. I have just recently made some springtime decorations. It was fun and I enjoyed doing that. I also have been watching Sesame Street late at night to help me go to sleep at nighttime. I started watching international versions of Sesame Street in January, and it was so much fun to watch. I learned different languages, and it was really cool to see Muppets from a different country, especially a foreign country.

Now that I have my New Nintendo 3DS, I can watch Sesame Street on YouTube every night before I go to sleep, and I also watch Muppets Tonight every Sunday to help me stay calm before I go to church. I love to watch videos on Dailymotion, Vimeo and YouTube. I like watching the Judy videos, the Samika Vlogs and the JakeBoys vlogs. I also like to watch crafting tutorials on YouTube.

I got a Sesame Street DVD that was released in February. I’m happy that I got it too because I really wanted it, so when Mom and I went to WalMart on the last week of February, I got it and watched it twice in a row on the day I got it. I’m really excited to be getting another Sesame Street DVD, which came out a couple of weeks ago.

I had a meltdown one day in either January or February, and my younger brother told me to shut up when I had the meltdown. I was so mad at him for doing that. He could have at least been a little more supportive and asked me what he could have done to help me. It made me sad that he did that. I wish that people would understand me better, but sadly, they don’t. I’m misunderstood by people and it’s really not fair. Whenever I have a meltdown I always get told to shut up, and people dismiss my feelings like I don’t matter to them or something. It hurts. It breaks my heart to have to deal with all the mistreatment and ableism.

But I am so glad that there are some people that understand or are willing to understand what it’s like for me to be autistic. I do wish that people could walk a mile in my shoes while I tell them my story. I’m still here. I’m not “missing,” a tragedy or a burden. I have a voice and a story to tell. Don’t judge, criticize, mistreat, abuse, make fun of or ridicule us autistic/disabled people. We autistic/disabled people are human beings. Walk a mile in our shoes and listen to our stories. Listen to us. Because it is nothing about us without us.

45, Autism Speaks & The Future of Our Activism

Autism Speaks Hurts. Real People Speaking.

We want to take a moment to acknowledge all the progress we have made since our grassroots efforts began. As one of our founding organizers has said:

“This is not just a boycott, this is a civil rights movement.”

It is important to see our progress but we must remember that it’s equally important to keep the pressure on Autism Speaks and their financial sponsors. We must continue to speak out against hate, ableism and fear. For over a decade, Autism Speaks has dominated the conversations about autism while ignoring the needs and wishes of the autistic community.  They have created an environment where we are feared, where our civil rights and autonomy are ignored, where we are told that we are unable to speak for ourselves as Autistic people. They have made this common place. Is it any surprise that our current president has adopted so much of their…

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Not In Love With Julia

As a fan of Sesame Street and the Muppets, I agree with this. Sesame Street needs to realize that there’s nothing wrong with being autistic.

Erin Human

Everyone might be tired of hearing about Sesame Street’s new autistic muppet by the time I post this, but before I wrote up a full review I had to make my way through all of the materials at the “Sesame Street and Autism” site. I watched all of the videos, either when the kids weren’t around or with headphones while they were otherwise occupied, because I wanted to screen them first before I let them view of it – and, yes, it is weird to have to screen Sesame Street, of all things, for harmful messaging, but such is the state of the mainstream dialogue on autism that I knew there were likely to be some things I would not want my kids to see or hear. And there were.

What is Sesame Street and Autism?

First, a brief explanation of what Sesame Street and Autism is and isn’t. There’s been…

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Thanksgiving Plans and Update on My Right Leg

Today is Thursday, and it is a week before Thanksgiving. I’m so excited for Thanksgiving because I get to watch the Muppets on the Thanksgiving Day Parade on my local NBC station, and I also get to watch the Thanksgiving parade on my local ABC station, then I get to watch Mr. Peabody and Sherman on Thanksgiving night at midnight. I’m also looking forward Thanksgiving Eve because at 6pm I get to watch The Muppets before Thanksgiving Eve service. The calf of my right leg is feeling better. There’s not a black and blue mark on my leg anymore.

I didn’t go to choir practice because my friend’s mom is sick, and my mom didn’t feel like taking me. So I took a day off and watched the Thanksgiving episode of Speechless. When I saw that show I thought it was pretty awesome. I fell asleep early last night because I was so tired. It is going to be warm out on some of this weekend. On Tuesday I got to take pictures of the sunset. It was really beautiful, even if it wasn’t fiery like I thought it was. I hope that tomorrow night’s sunset is fiery, same as tonight.

Again, I’m really excited for Thanksgiving this year, because then I get to eat turkey, potato filling, corn, green beans, mashed potatoes, and cranberry sauce. This is going to be the best Thanksgiving ever. I think my family will be eating out this year. This means that I will watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade at 2pm, and the Dunkin’ Donuts parade at 8:30. They have repeats of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade at 2pm every Thanksgiving. I can’t wait until Thanksgiving Day.

I got my essays published for Autistics Speaking Day and Autistic History Month. I’m so excited for that, too, because this year is my first year of participating in both events, and I’m very glad I participated in both. Because we as autistic people need to have our voices heard. As autistic people, we are valid. As autistic people we need people to realize that it’s okay to be different and that it’s not okay to silence, dismiss, bully, tease, torture, gaslight and murder us. We as autistic people need to be loved and understood. As autistic people our voices need to be validated, because people need to realize that we have feelings and they need to validate our feelings, too.

I can’t wait until Thanksgiving Eve service, because then I get to sing the anthem with the choir, and I get to share my testimony with the rest of the congregation. I like to share my testimony with the rest of the congregation, because it makes me feel glad to be a part of my church. I hope I get to go this year because I never got to go last year. I was really disappointed that I didn’t get to go last year but I’m okay now.

Tonight I will be watching football, drawing, blogging and making some crafts. I’m tired, and lunch will be soon.