Constantly Trying to Find a Way to Go to Sleep Tonight

I can’t sleep anymore at all tonight. I am trying to go to sleep, but I just can’t. I am feeling very worried tonight. As an autistic adult, sometimes I tend to be up until 3am. Tonight, this might be the night that I could be up that late.

I enjoyed two bags of Cheetos and Dortos while watching Counting On, The Voice and This Is Us. I can’t even think. I did get some sleep tonight, I fell asleep during The Voice. I can’t even sleep at all tonight. I feel very worried and I hate it. It’s no fun to constantly wake up in the middle of the night when you want to go to sleep at nighttime. I hope that I don’t have to constantly wake up in the middle of the night again. I want to sleep all through the night but I don’t think I can. I tried to sleep the whole night through tonight, but unfortunately, I can’t.

I just keep constantly waking up at nighttime, having nightmares and not going back to sleep. I can’t go back to sleep at all. I had a nightmare about the fifth grade student that bullied me when I was in elementary school. That still upsets and worries me to this day. The second nightmare was about the people that called me names in high school. I woke up all shivery and turned my TV to WPVI, my local ABC station to watch Who Wants to Be a Millionaire and the local ABC news. I usually have wonderful dreams, like dreams of being with the Muppets and meeting them, and dreams about going to my favorite stores and restaurants. However, tonight, I didn’t have those dreams. I had only nightmares. That is why tonight I’m worried.

I really hope tomorrow night will be better for me. Because tomorrow night I have choir practice. I am thankful for my choir teacher named Harriet. I’m thankful for my fellow choir members at my church. I am thankful that I have rides to and from choir practice. Harriet and my fellow choir members mean the world to me and I wouldn’t trade them for anything else.

Another reason why I’m awake in the middle of the night is that my feet and ankles both hurt. I’m looking forward to my pumpkin spice lattes I would like to get from at Turkey Hill, and I am also looking forward to seeing the fall foliage and taking pictures of the colorful leaves on the trees. I am glad that the weather cooled down. It’s going to be warm out tomorrow just like it was today. I hope the weather cools down again. I am thankful that it’s not too hot out. I really hope that it will cool down again after the rain falls.

God bless you richly, everybody.

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