I Am Going To Be Okay Now

Trigger warning: self-injury, swearing

This morning was a much better morning than it was yesterday. Yesterday I had a meltdown until breakfast. I bit my arm several times, swore, hit myself on the head and screamed. I also flapped my hands and feet to try to calm myself down before my meltdown got worse. I couldn’t even listen to Mom when she told me to calm down. And I was crying too. Not just crying, bawling.

When I took a shower, I tried to get the soap on the soap holder, but it kept on slipping several times. I tried to pick it up the first time, and get it on there, but it didn’t work, so the final time I did it, it was finally on there.

I am having a much better day today. I’m gonna be okay now. Today, for me, everything is gonna be okay. I am trying to get caught up on the itsjudyslife vlogs that I am watching. I’m definitely looking forward to watching more of her videos that I have been watching. I have missed watching them so much, and I would like to get back to watching them really soon. I really like her videos, and I like the Aspyn Ovard videos, and Aspyn + Parker, and the SHAYTARDS, and I also like to watch Rocky and Bullwinkle on Yotube. I am looking for more vlogs on Youtube that people could reccomend to me, so that I can watch them.

I am thankful for all of your prayers and for your kindness when I was not having my best mornings. They mean so much to me. I am glad to know of such friends who are able to support me and make me feel better when I am sad and crying. It has been a tough time on Saturday and Sunday morning. I hope that next weekend will be so much better for me.

My voice is a little hoarse since the big meltdown that I had yesterday morning. But I know that it’ll be okay and I will be alright. I’m glad that I broke free from the sadness that I have felt these past two mornings. I am glad things are getting better for me. It’s not easy for me being autistic, but regardless, I am glad to be here on this planet Earth.

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